I heard this from someone who heard it from the writer involved. Since I haven't independently verified the story, I won't use their real names.
Just think of this as a koan.
A writer who'd just published a dazzling short story collection met the editor of a top literary magazine. The editor said, "I loved your story collection. Why didn't you submit any of those stories to my magazine?"
The writer said, "I submitted all those stories to you, and you rejected all of them."
The editor said, "Well... I don't remember that... anyways, send me your next story!"
The writer duly submitted his next story to the editor. It came back with a form rejection slip on which the editor had written, Now I remember.
Minggu, 10 Januari 2010
tips conversation
First dates are usually pretty stressful events for most people. Individuals usually want to impress this new person they are attracted to and may experience a bit of anxiety before and during a first date.
First date jitters are common and one of the biggest anxiety aspects of a first date is usually the conversation. As people are asking themselves "Will my date like me?" and "What should I wear?", one of the biggest questions they mostly wonder is "What in the world do we talk about?"
Since most first dates are typically focused on the 'getting to know you' period, there is either going to be lots of talking if both people are truly interested or strained conversation if enthusiasm is not so high, or the excitement wanes partially through the date.
If you want to keep conversation flowing and get through any awkward periods, here are a few tips to help you get over the conversation hurdle of a first date:
*Keep it Light
Conversations that are centered on small talk are not only great ice-breakers but they remove the pressure from having to say too much or talk about things that are not known.
Light-hearted conversation is usually a stable starting point for talking during a first date because it doesn't require any specific knowledge to participate in the discussion. These kinds of conversations are also a good way to get to know one another better and see what kinds of things you might have in common.
*Avoid Tough Topics
Many people are tempted to get into religious or political discussions on a first date. This is most often not a good idea unless both people are not sensitive and can handle a hearty (and potentially heated!) debate if the conversation turns that direction.
Heavy duty romantic topics are also best avoided on a first date; these kinds of discussions can come later if the relationship progresses. You don't want to scare off a potential new relationship by getting too serious too quickly.
*Personal Background
This is going to vary from individual to individual because some people like to really open up immediately and others like to keep their personal life safeguarded until trust is established.
Depending on how you met this person is a good gauge to decide how much you want to talk about yourself on an initial date. If you don't know the person well, you might want to keep your guard up in the beginning for safety's sake.
*Share Anecdotes
Humorous or light-hearted stories are good conversational topics. They are personal, but not serious, and can be enjoyable discussion. When you share stories, this is a way of offering personal information without getting too serious or deep about one another's pasts. Again, those kinds of discussion can come later if future dates happen.
You don't want to totally close yourself off to a new date if you are keeping your guard up, but if you really are interested and want a second date, you'll likely want to make some compromise and share just enough to allow your date a chance to get to know you and ask you out again. Anecdotes are good ways to share insight about your lives and personalities, but isn't enough to disclose the stuff you want to protect until you know one another better.
*Work Related Topics
Usually work related information or professional background information is a safe bet in keeping conversation going. Each individual can share their own personal experiences and perhaps find common ground in the stresses and joys of their jobs. Sharing professional hopes, goals and dreams is another way to get to know one another.
*Hobbies and Interests
Talking about hobbies and interests is a pretty neutral topic and is probably one of the best topics to talk about on a first date. The subject is personal enough to open up about, but does not compromise safety or put any other kind of strain on the discussion.
Talking about hobbies and interests is also often a good gauge to determine compatibility and whether or not the person you're out with is interesting enough to pursue as a potential relationship, or even just a second date.
*Travels
Talking about travels to places you've each been is another good neutral, yet interesting topic. Most people like to travel and by exchanging stories and experiences you can enjoy some good dialogue and interaction on a first date.
Knowing how to start a conversation on a first date can be tricky, but once you figure out how to approach it, this helps the initial outing go much easier with far less stress. With a bit of thought prior to the big event, you can easily figure out how to cross the conversation hurdle and have a successful date.
First date jitters are common and one of the biggest anxiety aspects of a first date is usually the conversation. As people are asking themselves "Will my date like me?" and "What should I wear?", one of the biggest questions they mostly wonder is "What in the world do we talk about?"
Since most first dates are typically focused on the 'getting to know you' period, there is either going to be lots of talking if both people are truly interested or strained conversation if enthusiasm is not so high, or the excitement wanes partially through the date.
If you want to keep conversation flowing and get through any awkward periods, here are a few tips to help you get over the conversation hurdle of a first date:
*Keep it Light
Conversations that are centered on small talk are not only great ice-breakers but they remove the pressure from having to say too much or talk about things that are not known.
Light-hearted conversation is usually a stable starting point for talking during a first date because it doesn't require any specific knowledge to participate in the discussion. These kinds of conversations are also a good way to get to know one another better and see what kinds of things you might have in common.
*Avoid Tough Topics
Many people are tempted to get into religious or political discussions on a first date. This is most often not a good idea unless both people are not sensitive and can handle a hearty (and potentially heated!) debate if the conversation turns that direction.
Heavy duty romantic topics are also best avoided on a first date; these kinds of discussions can come later if the relationship progresses. You don't want to scare off a potential new relationship by getting too serious too quickly.
*Personal Background
This is going to vary from individual to individual because some people like to really open up immediately and others like to keep their personal life safeguarded until trust is established.
Depending on how you met this person is a good gauge to decide how much you want to talk about yourself on an initial date. If you don't know the person well, you might want to keep your guard up in the beginning for safety's sake.
*Share Anecdotes
Humorous or light-hearted stories are good conversational topics. They are personal, but not serious, and can be enjoyable discussion. When you share stories, this is a way of offering personal information without getting too serious or deep about one another's pasts. Again, those kinds of discussion can come later if future dates happen.
You don't want to totally close yourself off to a new date if you are keeping your guard up, but if you really are interested and want a second date, you'll likely want to make some compromise and share just enough to allow your date a chance to get to know you and ask you out again. Anecdotes are good ways to share insight about your lives and personalities, but isn't enough to disclose the stuff you want to protect until you know one another better.
*Work Related Topics
Usually work related information or professional background information is a safe bet in keeping conversation going. Each individual can share their own personal experiences and perhaps find common ground in the stresses and joys of their jobs. Sharing professional hopes, goals and dreams is another way to get to know one another.
*Hobbies and Interests
Talking about hobbies and interests is a pretty neutral topic and is probably one of the best topics to talk about on a first date. The subject is personal enough to open up about, but does not compromise safety or put any other kind of strain on the discussion.
Talking about hobbies and interests is also often a good gauge to determine compatibility and whether or not the person you're out with is interesting enough to pursue as a potential relationship, or even just a second date.
*Travels
Talking about travels to places you've each been is another good neutral, yet interesting topic. Most people like to travel and by exchanging stories and experiences you can enjoy some good dialogue and interaction on a first date.
Knowing how to start a conversation on a first date can be tricky, but once you figure out how to approach it, this helps the initial outing go much easier with far less stress. With a bit of thought prior to the big event, you can easily figure out how to cross the conversation hurdle and have a successful date.
Langganan:
Postingan (Atom)